


So So Angry

by scalding_coolness



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internal Conflict, Self-Hatred, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 03:51:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13181775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scalding_coolness/pseuds/scalding_coolness
Summary: One can only hold back for so long and he was never the one to be patient.Patience can only last so long and she was never the one with a lot of tolerance.OrMax hits the last straw and Billy sees that.p.s: also a small sneak peak of a story I'm working on.





	So So Angry

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen a lot of hate for Billy and not a lot of people understanding his character so this is me trying to show his depth.

 

> **Billy's POV:**

Billy Hargrove was not a nice person.

He knew that and so did everyone else.  
He did not (and still does not) really know when he became the person that he did, but he reckoned he's had his reasons, reasons he could not tell anyone because that would mean admitting to others and letting them know how much of a coward he was.

However, it was not entirely his fault because his father had drilled into him all his spewing bullshit and hammered wherever he was weak, so Neil had moulded him into this person that he never tgought he would be and he was solely responsible for what he had done in return.

At some point, his god-dammed father _happened_ , but he also reckoned another reason was maybe because he had never gotten any love. Not as a kid, not at home and never elsewhere either.

He had never known love and so never learnt to give others any.

His mother died giving birth to him and what might have been the start of a new life ended up being the end of hers, a life born, another lost. And yet, it wasn't as sad as it sounded. How could he mourn the death, _loss_ of someone that he never even knew? And then there was Neil, less of a father and more of a sergeant.

It made him so angry, made his blood boil.

Every time he saw the man's face or the woman he had married or the girl who was now a part of his 'perfect' family or the shitty town they had moved to, leaving behind California that at least had had some semblance of a home for him. 

And even after all that, he tried, but he just could never hold all the rage inside, when he saw red, no other colour existed.

So, he didn't know how else to get rid of all the frustration that he carried inside him, all the heaviness that was weighing down on his shoulders, except by taking it out on other people and by other people, he mostly meant his little stepsister. He did not know how to stop, how to be better and no one had ever tried to help.

She only made it worse, though, the little shit, always had to say or do something that pissed him off.

She was fiery and so was he. It was a bad combo and if he hadn't already known how to spell the word disaster, he would have written both their names alongside, instead, but what Max had just done wasn't, by a blasted chance, fiery.

It didn't piss him off like her antics usually did. Instead, he was caught off guard.

For the first time, her reaction had him surprised and he hadn't expected that, sure, a snarky comment about his hair or cologne, maybe even the last beating that he took from Neil, anything but this.

He looked into her eyes for any sign of mirth, but all she did was stare bstare back with a hard set jaw and standing completly still with the knife outstretched towards him. 

He didn't– _couldn't_ understand.

He had thought she was going to threaten him with it, maybe even plunge it in his stomach, but he hadn't seen  **this** coming.

"Go ahead, kill me. It'll be a relief," she said, in a voice so low, lower than he had ever heard it sound.

He tried to read her face again, he searched her eyes once more.

Did she really fucking mean it? And, as much as they did not know each other, he knew her well enough to see then, see for the first time really, just how worn out she looked with bags under her eyes and her face sickly pale. Her eyes didn't have their usual spark in them –the one that he used to see so often– the one that would ignite whenever he pushed her around, they hadn't for a while, and he realised then just how empty the girl in front of him looked.

She was asking him to _kill her_. He had done that.

And maybe, he had somehow stopped giving any f*cks about what happened to him, but seeing that look in her eyes and knowing he was the reason why... he hated himself in that moment more than he ever had before.

_'Oh god, what if she stabbed herself?'_

She had just said something really suicidal a second ago, who knew what she would do next?

And once again in his life, he had no clue what to do, but how could he? This wasn't a situation he had ever imagined to find himself in.bIt was bizarre. 

He ran a hand through his hair without even realising and took in a shaky breath.

He may not know what to do, but foremost, he had to get rid of that knife and so, he took it from her hand, gripping it firmly and a sickneing feeling washed over him as he went to put it back in its place.

"No! God dammit, didn't you hear?!" She screamed as she suddenly rammed into him from behind, trying to get ahold of the knife.

"I WANT YOU TO DO IT!" She shouted and managed to grab his arm, not giving up.

"Max, get back!" He tell, raising the knife above both of their heads.

Yet, it was as though she was possesed, and with another sudden nudge, she pushed him suddenly and he fell. He, out of all people, _fell_. _He_ , who always told _Steve Harrington_ to plant his frigging feet, _fell._

  
Her weight landed on top of him a second later and for an instance, Billy thought she had done it, gotten through with her plan and his heart dropped into his stomach, with apologetic remorse and it made home want to hurl until he realisedbthe knife was still in his hands, clean snd  _safe_.

He threw it out of his _–her_ reach without a second thought, threw the thing as far as he could and it hit the floor,sliding across and into the counter with a _clang!_ yet he managed to hear her broken whisper, "Please, I just want it to end."

And so, he tried.

He had never gotten any love, maybe because he had never tried to give others any and then, he did something he never had before as she did something he had never seen her do.

He brought his arms around her as she sobbed in his chest.

"I'm sorry, Max. I'm so sorry," he whispered into her hair.

He meant it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like it! I'd love to know your thoughts on this! Review!


End file.
